Too often marriage and divorce are mentioned in the same sentence. Today, it seems that couples are getting married under the premonition that if things don't work out, there is always the outlet of divorce. What has happened in recent years to make divorce seem as common as opening up a bank account? Perhaps it is because modern society seems to place too much emphasis on trying to find a way out of a problem instead of actually looking for its causes. Marriage and divorce often occur because of the type of communication that exists between people. In any relationship, whether it is friendship or a romantic involvement, communication is necessary for it to survive.
Communication can be as simple as the difference between saying negative and positive comments to one another. On a daily basis, if you hear things like "you never," or "you don't" you're bound to put up a defense against the personal attacks that usually follow such phrases. All too often we open our mouths without even thinking about what we are saying or how it will affect the person we are addressing.
Simple changes in the way we communicate could make a lasting difference in a relationship, especially a marriage. Instead of starting off with the negatives, begin with a positive phrase like "thank you," or "I'll help," to let the person know how much you appreciate them instead of pointing out the things they do wrong all the time. What is the union of two people, and how does such an institution end? The way that you view marriage and divorce can be derived from your family history. Parent's divorce with petty quarrels and lack of affection, may influence the fear of their children to fail in their own marriage According to a recent survey, children from a broken home are twice as likely to have their own marriages fail.
People whose parents have divorced are more likely to view divorce as a viable solution to a failed marriage. Children of divorced parents often enter a marriage retaining the standards they saw growing up. Before getting married, you should discuss your respective family origins. It is important that you both know about each other's childhood and your relationship with your parents. With greater understanding of each other's backgrounds, it becomes easier to attain your marriage goals. Financial stress often enters a marriage and can play a role in a divorce.
Before getting married, sit down and discuss what you are expecting from the marriage financially. For example, discuss whether joint or separate checking accounts are desired. Examine each others saving plan and then work out a new joint plan. It's important to understand each other's spending habits before tying the knot. This will give you an idea of where your money will be spent once you are living together.
Most of us avoid talking about uncomfortable personal subjects such as money. But we often let money rule our lives. The role that money will play in a marriage is as important as determining the parental roles for raising children. Marriage and divorce can be life altering moments for anyone. Before entering into a marriage, it is important to have a solid understanding of your partner. Open the lines of communication and leave no rock unturned.
The same advice should be heeded before going through a divorce. Look to see what lies behind your reason for wanting to separate in the first place. Is it a lack of proper communication? Did financial strain become a problem that you both refused to deal with and discuss? Finding the source of the problem can be the first step in realizing that perhaps divorce isn't the best solution.
When Andrew Tenco was in need of a Family Law attorney in California he chose the Family Law Center for their experience in divorce mediation. Should anyone be in need of some divorce support Andrew highly recommends the experts at the Family Law Center for a local Sacramento divorce attorney.